"Please me!"

Sometimes you have to have a little bit of good-natured fun with your job.

This one comes from when I was teaching in Japan, at my first Junior High School.  I don't remember where I was exactly in the building, but I believe I was eating a piece of candy or chocolate.

One of the second-year (equivalent to eigth grade) girls saw me: a cute girl as kids go; probably has turned into a dynamite beauty now (but that's besides the point).  She stuck out her hands expectantly, and said in English:

"Please me!"

Now, I know what she was asking for (as well as you, reader), but as I said, you have to have a little good-natured (or is this evil-natured?) fun with the job.  I chuckled and naturally replied (in Japanese):

"I'm sorry, but you're a little too young."

She tilted her head to the side, obviously confused by my answer.  Then I had to explain what the phrase Please me" meant in Japanese.  She nodded, and I think she got the joke.

So, at my second Junior High School when a middle-aged male teacher did the exact same thing to me in regards to a cigarette, I had to reply to him (in Japanese):

"Sorry, but I don't like men in that way."

He gave me exact same confused look, and I had to explain the point to him.  He, and two three other teachers nodded, one of the few times that a non-English teacher learned something from me.